Hi Reader,

THE CONFESSION

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I went out to dinner. The company was GREAT. The food was great. The experience? A total buzzkill—and I don’t even drink like that.

We were seated beside another couple. I tried really hard not to eavesdrop, but I’m from a small town in Kentucky. I’m practically wired for it. Bless it.

And to be fair, this woman was LOUD. The couple on the other side of the restaurant could have eavesdropped if they wanted to. I’m sure they heard her too.

At first, it was almost funny. I thought she was excited about a book she had been reading or spilling some drama from The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Then I realized she was publicly unloading what sounded like thirteen years of resentment onto her husband.

I immediately judged her.

She needs The FitZen Project.

She needs a divorce.

I kept looking at my husband like, “Damn, babe. Please tell me you’re hearing this.”

Then the rest began to unravel—and honestly, my heart started hurting for both of them.

I watched her pain pour out in real time while his dignity sank to the bottom of his shoes. He tried to defend himself. He tried to explain how he felt. He tried to bring the conversation down several octaves.

She wasn’t having it.

At one point, he began with, “I feel…” and she interrupted him with: “Fuck your feelings.”

That was when it stopped sounding like someone asking to be heard.

It sounded like someone asking the person who hurt her to hurt too.

THE LEMON SQUEEZE 🍊:

Here’s what I’m squeezing this week:

Your anger can be completely valid—and your delivery can still cause harm.

My own version of this showed up recently when my five-year-old started flag football.

He’s my only child. He isn’t the most aggressive or athletic kid on the field, and he’s still learning how to stand his ground.

Before one game, I watched his own teammates kick him, smack his butt, and push him to the ground.

I was FURIOUS.

In that moment, I could have drop-kicked those little kids and felt justified. But I held my cool. Barely. I miss Botox.

The next day, I was still fired up, so I wrote a message to the team parents. I explained that I didn’t appreciate my son being treated like the team’s punching bag and asked for more respect between teammates.

Theo hadn’t complained, but I didn’t want his silence to become acceptance. I didn’t want him learning that this behavior was normal.

Before sending it, I ran the message by my mom and ChatGPT so I didn’t burn the whole house down.

Then I sent it.

At the next game, I noticed several parents being more mindful of their children. I knew it was because of my message—and part of me wanted to watch the game from underneath a rock.

Instead, I brought an umbrella to “block the sun.”

I kept wondering:

Did I advocate for my child—or did I overstep?

Was I communicating a legitimate concern—or using my anger to control other parents?

Here’s where I’ve landed:

I wasn’t setting a boundary for other people’s children. I was advocating for mine and making a request of the adults responsible for them.

I paused before responding. I asked for perspective. I named the behavior without publicly identifying or humiliating a specific child. I requested a change.

My rage deserved somewhere to go—but the team message could not be the place where I dumped it.

That is the difference between communication and punishment.

The question isn’t whether you’re allowed to be angry.

The question is:

Are you communicating what needs to change—or trying to make someone else pay for how you feel?

THE PODCAST 🎙️:

This week’s full-length episode asks a hard question:

Are you communicating your pain—or trying to make your partner pay for it?

Your pain may be completely valid. You may have every reason to feel hurt, angry, or resentful. But being right about your pain doesn’t automatically make you right in the way you treat someone you love.

In How to Say What Hurts Without Making Your Partner Pay—even When You’re Right, I’m unpacking the dinner I accidentally witnessed, the fixer I recognized in her, and the exhausted man who made me realize The FitZen Project might be for him too.

→ LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE

How to Say What Hurts Withou... Sep 15 · The FitZen Project 20:04   ​

THE PROJECT MANAGER 📋

When you keep thinking, “Why do I have to do everything?” your relationship may have a scope problem.

You volunteered once. Then you became the permanent owner. Nobody officially assigned you the responsibility—but nobody questions it because you keep delivering.

Eventually, every completed task becomes another receipt you silently carry into the next argument.

In Doing Everything—and Resenting Your Partner? Make This Change Request, we’re identifying the scope creep hiding inside your relationship and turning one resentment into a clear request.

Because resentment is not a responsibility-management system.

→ LISTEN TO THE PM MINI

Doing Everything—and Resenti... Sep 16 · The FitZen Project 8:43   ​

THE YOGI 🧘‍♀️

Knowing the right words doesn’t mean you’ll be able to use them when your nervous system is preparing for war.

Your jaw tightens. Your breathing becomes shallow. Your shoulders rise. Suddenly, you’re no longer listening to understand—you’re listening for your next opportunity to strike, defend, appease, or disappear.

In How to Speak Your Truth Without Attacking or Backing Down, we explore what yoga can teach us about telling the truth without turning it into a weapon—or swallowing it to keep the peace.

This is where the practice leaves the mat and enters your relationship.

→ LISTEN TO THE YOGA MINI

How to Speak Your Truth With... Sep 17 · The FitZen Project 9:24   ​

MICRODOSE OF COURAGE 💊

Name one resentment before it becomes contempt.

Choose one responsibility you continue carrying while silently becoming angrier that nobody has taken it from you.

Then make one clean request:

No courtroom. No character assassination. No history lesson containing every disappointment since the beginning of time.

Breathe. Name the responsibility. Tell the truth about its impact. Ask for the change.

Because you are your most important project.

With all the gratitude,

Rachel

Alignment is the new hustle.
You are your most important project.

Want to support FitZen without spending a dime?

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P.S. If any of these messages hit, and you want to see how the FitZen Project can personally help you to your next level, below is my calendar- let's talk.

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✨ FITZEN FAVORITES | Humans & Brands I Trust ✨

I only share what I genuinely use, believe in, and would recommend to my mom/ best friend.
When you use my links, you’re supporting The FitZen Project — and I’m deeply grateful.

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​🌬 Breathwork with Tabatha DeBruyn – My 9D Breathwork session shifted 30 years of stored trauma in two hours. I’m not exaggerating. This is powerful, safe, guided release work for when you’re ready to let go of what your body has been carrying. If you want real transformation — this is it.

Thank you for supporting the brands and practitioners who support this community.

✨ FITZEN Philanthropies ✨

​🐎 Hooves of Hope- Hooves of Hope Equestrian Center serves individuals from more than thirteen counties across Kentucky, providing equine-assisted activities and therapies that help children and adults with diverse needs build essential life skills in a safe and caring environment.

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Being in the business of YOU means being intentional about what you consume — including what you buy, who you work with, and how you heal.

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And So Be It.

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